Pruning fruit trees is very important. It allows the sun to reach all areas of the tree so that the fruit will be better and the tree will live longer Swearing that I wouldn't call someone to do the job for me, I armed myself with my best sewing scissors and a ladder. I succeeded in opening the ladder and pinching my thumb in about 30 minutes. Then I climbed up this thing and had an idea of what Jack felt like when he climbed the beanstalk.

When I reached the first limb, I realized I knew nothing about pruning fruit trees but I figured it couldn't be that hard. I realized my scissors weren't going to do the job after I tried cutting a smaller limb from the tree. That's when I pulled out my husband's chain saw.

I figured it had to be better than those scissors. I didn't realize how loud it would sound and it startled me. I tossed it on the ground. Lucky for me the grass is soft, because I topped off the ladder afterwards. I swore at the stupid chain saw, then we back up the ladder with it. I was prepared this time; I started again.

I tried to cut that same small limb again. Apparently, chainsaws are really sharp as well. The chain saw was aggressive and chomped into six and half limbs. About 1/4th of my tree was lying on the ground now. My precious tree! If I wasn't ticked off before, I sure was now. But I wasn't about to give up, not even after one of the ravaged limbs struck my forehead and left a big scratch.

This time I got out the hedge shears and climbed up the tree itself. How hard can pruning fruit trees possibly be? As I was going up, I kicked over the ladder by accident.

Boiling mad, I waited in that bleeping fruit tree until my husband found me in the tree, bleeding from the head, with dirt stuck to my butt. As my husband was laughing and I was walking back to the house, I gave that tree a look that would wither it and muttered, "Until Next Year!"